love remains?

love remains. explaining this whylove remains takes us into "eternity" of time. however, intuition and feeling give us insight why such. i mean keep on living a life full of true love. love is the force that connects me with people, with this existence as meaningful.when i speak of love, pardon me, but i mean not to be superstitious about love. When i willed my self that these acts we have is love so be it because that is my authentic willing and the way i consider such human relationships as love. hence, whatever constuctive activities we human have set it is because of the thing i define as love. true, we can construct things by virtue of duty or necessityimposed by something or someone and without the true cooperation of our will. however, as long as there are true agreement of will samong us, this bondage that keep us interacting with each othermeaningfully and sense-fully i call it love...that's why i always say "love remains". not an expression that is full of mystical and supesitious meaning but it is an imprint of a simple logical necessity by entailing us to seek the deeper meaning of it and actualizing it through our meaningful activities. it is a "clamor"as well as a necessity to ponder through and within the "eternal" affairs of our volitions and feelings. to make a committment is an eternal act in the sense that commiting ourselves in this world depends upon our perception of this world and acting the way what fits best with you and this world. it is an affair both ultimately decided between you and the world. i believe and ialways believe, that love remains...even if this world we see is lacking in true love...love remains..that is how i've bannered and wished for a meaningful life.

the case is not to understand

do i need an understanding to feel what you meant? i tell you, i never need and i will never try to understand you because the truth is that understanding is a mere case of logical or linguistic abstraction. i mean understanding is not the case to get into your feeling. and that i dont need mental abstraction of what you want to say to me using language-propositions as the way of communciating to me. i tell you, my dear...if ever you wish me to understand you. i will never agree with you. understanding of what you are saying belongs to the purest meaning of logical clarification. the more i try to understand you the more we will exhaust ourselves trying to bear out the very fundamental meaning of what we mean and this actually ends into endless discourse of tiresome game of thoughts-netting but the very essence will always slip out through the meshes of that net. it is a standstill and unluckily we'l be thrown into ultimate absurdity...it is an endless task of contemplating what we mean. for our language which shapes and gives cloth to our thoughts is a very exhaustive medium of communication. it is not exhaustive in the sense that you'll get tired when you try to express yourselves through ..i just only want to point out..pls dont wish for me to understand you...wish, instead, for me to COMMITT my self to what you believe or what you feel in this life in which others, like me, would somehow feel it. next time when our paths crosss each other, and seems feel the heaviness and joy of existence, and that our souls happened to realized this unique existence we have and trying to "get in" in each of our "souls" essence of existence, dont say "understand mine" say it with boldness and having more meaning and weight of existence, "PLEASE, feel or commit your SELF to my what my soul wants to show in this life"

a poem...

oh, girl sweet of mine
the lips and eyes of thine
when i reckon them
-much of you-
all my troubles wane
and cause to cease my ceaseless pain
albeit, beside you i feel numb
though i love you
oh, my...when you are gone
i am madly wishing to
caressing and embracing you
i cant explain though
or ask rodin's thinker thought
that lurking eureka be brought
lo, a certain love on god's breath pronounced eternal
there in his saving sacred journal
on nike's wing, she has lain
hither and thither but to halt never
nay, i cried unto thee
that my lady i may seize
yonder on thy heaven-gate
i'm afraid that after her is too late
nevertheless, i can pursue her he spake
thence, before my life reposes to hade's nauseous grave
oh, my love, beloved by thine's tender care
please, leave a place in thy heart to spare
my deeply longing solomon's soul

in despair

Three different possible existential conditions of being in despair.
1. Despair of not having a self 2. Despair of not willing to be one's self 3. Despair of willing to be one's self.
Regardless of our beliefs or principles in our life( being theists,
atheists, agnostics, solipsistic..) we are beset by these despair but
it can not occur that all these or two of them at the same time in the life of a person. It is one and only one that any of the three
will invade the self of a person though this event is an eternal act.
Every moment that any of these despair troubles a person happens in
the eternal moment not that it is infused or occured to him.her in
this particlar place and particular time. It is an immediate feeling
originated from one's self as this self having the spirit in relating
itself with the eternal. It is not caused and affected by space and
time in which the physical universe is given character. Within the
self, we can only understood this despair in an eternal intuition of
the spirit in which it relates itself to ourself as in itself is the
self. Hence, this kinds of despair are true kinds of despair for it
is the poignancy we feel penetrating as a knife in our very spirit.

spirit in itself

Now, what is the spirit? Spirit is the self that relates itself to itself. From itself(the sprit) it relates itself to the otherness of the self(to be understood as the object world as it is opposed to the subjective world of the self. This relationship between the self and the otherness of the self is the activity of the pure spirit as a self in itself in creating the absolute reality within and without of the self carried by the self(speaking in layman's world, it is any person, since any person is simply and commonly understood as having self and that what he/she sees is some constituents of the absolute manifestation of the spirit in him/her). The understanding of unity in the world is the evidence that spirit is acting in pure actuality and that in relating itself to the praxes of objective world, it bears out intellect. What are these praxes am i talking? What originates them? It is still the pure freedom of the spirit in positing that these praxes are made by the spirit as what they are. The self( constituting the spirit) from an eternal act, posited that these actions/phenomena as what they are in their very nature. And we can have the understanding of their unity or unity itself because of the spirit. Here, i am not talking of "spirit" as commonly understood, in which it is an entity to which to be understood by faith alone and to give separate essence in it by thinking it as beyond comprehension and beyond feeling. No. The spirit is us(the self/spirit) Our ability to penetrate things as they are projected in their very nature is caused by the absolute freedom of the spirit in us. In which this spirit is the self in us. That the spirit unifies the self with the objective/othernes of the self to originate the creation of knowledge and of the praxes of understanding reality. I am just simply giving an idea here that we actually feel the spirit. That this spirit is actually not completely opposed to this physical things as we see them. All these phenomena/actions/rigidity in life or in existence are understood and given meaning and unity by the activity of the spirit in which this spirit is actually the self relating itself to itself.


(this could take long explanation..for a moment i pause here i just hope i've given my idea about the spirit. The essence of the true spirit as understood by a natural thinker and that even atheists, agnostics, idealists, solipsistics, have the right to understand and penetrate the wonderful reality)

sweet existence

the great thinker soren aabye kierkegaard illustrated the state of our individual existence in an analogy. the term existence does not simply apply to everything, like for example, to a stone. existence, according to him has the most special meaning to man.in his analogy, he points to a man in a cart, sits and sleeps, but the horse just tend to go along in its accustomed path without the man's direct or active control.while an another man in other cart holds the regin and actively directs the horse in its path.between the two men. kierkegaard points to the second man as the one that has the "authentic" existence.the man who knows his exitence, directs his life towards an end which he originally or genuinely planned. his understanding of happiness is greater than the man who doesnt have the authentic existence. he remains as an actor of life. knowing the how's and why's of life.while the other man is in the propensity of being washed away forever by the usual "custom of living" which is not always desirable to the human intellect and will. his condition is "ultimately wretched". he must remain the spectator, unless he embarks in the pursuit of the other man's activity.so, what now?...dear fellows. realizing the deeper essence or nature of our existence has a great significance not only of our philosophical, religious, and scientific activities but also in our ordinary way of living. once, in our lives, we held ideas or even principles which in fact, incongruous with the truth. reflecting our inner and outside realities, we could find flaws in our whole LIFE. some are vey subtle to see and understand. hence, we need our insight and our reason that we may unearth these unnecessary things in us that make us slumbering for long time in our quest of knowledge and truth.as an existing human being, we dont only move by eating and sleeping or by just acting and thinking. we need to bring forth the virtues of love, justice, and prudence. we always strive to attain the highest good..the summum bonum...

act now or never

..to do nothing..to watch the terrorists wrecking havoc in the civilized world is like permitting the rats in the cropfields in their devouring spree of destruction. to succumb to the demands of these people is like surrendering our democratic spirit. they must be purged. a world ruled by vitriolic minds is worse. it will render the global society constantly in the state of fear 'coz, madness could enter their mind for the ultimate destruction of the world by unprecedented launching of massive biological or nuclear weapons of mass destruction.it is a necessity for humanity and the progress of civilization to war with the terrorists. preventing them is a necessary measure and destroying the very root is better. act now or never.

A Poignant-Nostalgia

it was 9 o'clock in the morning of the 11th day of september, the united states, the most powerful nation in the world in economic, educational, and militaristic pursuit, loved by many, hated by many too and too many people a champion of democracy. that morning, evening in manila, it was rocked and definitely shocked by sucessive explosions that brought to rubbles the world trade center and nearby buildings and a great part of pentagon the seat of us military might.the ingenius willful work of the perpetrators instantly devoured the lives of thousands from the eventual collapse of the two towers.never been in the history of the united states, so devastated and succumb in such human made disaster. never been witnessed the notorious destruction of lives and properties. it is not only the magnitutude of the physical havoc that forever a poignant-nostalgic experience since the dawn of civilization of the united states. it is also the moral impact of the disaster especially the recurrence in our judgment of those terrorists devoid of compassion and conscience. whatever their cause, whatever they are fighting for, whether in the name of their gods or in the name of their individual principles, i will tell it now, their act was never been justified in such extent that it is rather a grave and insiduous fallacy against the universal meaning of human morality.what are these perpetrators? why had they done it? you might ask. the historians, sociologists, psychologists, biologists, philosophers, or the clerics are always ready to offer you an answer. however, i tell you, it wasn't the work of abnormal people or stupid ones. it is evil, simply evil. the terrorists were fully aware of themselves and other human beings but they let their imprudent passion of misguided and misplaced hatred by crushing innocent lives.why?why did i fell this way? why did i mind the event? and that i was just thousands of miles away from the incident?...coz, it shocked me, rendered into utter disbelief, hit by very soul and tears fell from the two corners of my eyes. my unpretending sympathy and condolence went to the victims and their relatives, but of shame and rage to the guilty of stupid killing.it was'nt only the americans as the victim but of the whole civilized world. the diabolic disaster took a great blow to democracy. it was a deep stab that is lasting. it paralyzed peace loving people...but for a while...i am a pacifist...howver, i strongly advocate the eradication and absolute destruction of terrorism, and bring into justice the guilty before humanity that loves peace not of blood and war.

love points me to life

I wish you'll find your life soon..but knowing our SELF takes lifetime..if life continues into eternity it is then an eternal knowing..knowing what we really are. It is not directionless nor meaningless nor fruitless effort. Our position in this life..this world we are living with gives us the greatest wonder..this wonder is the knowldge of our own existence feeling the power in us..opening our eyes..and feeling how our body moves..our spirit in us animates this physical reality..this body we possess and move and act in this life..it gives us oh, an almost undescribable joy..for at least we found the freedom in us..manifesting this life we have...and as the passage of moments we begin to find something more deeper in essence..it is love..love that gives color and bliss to a very meaningful reality. what this world's worth when someone's yearnings deemed nothing? when our longings are gone? when our life is but emptiness? behold, we are always resurrected by love. love is the essence of my existence. i cant live without love....i live or will die because of love..the movement of life directs to its most fundamental manifestation that is through love and ony love..i reap nothing from the intellect..logic becomes irrational...there is no more risky but most exciting moment than plunging ourselves into the vast sea of love. eros divines our life..eros makes us blush? oh, will ever the machinistic intellect or logic makes me long for more than the eternal enchantment of love? ...life is one and only once..i take life into its deepest possible meaning. i always deeply involve my sefl to anything..i cant take for granted the time that is there..life is fast moving....i cant simply let life slip into the sea of nothingess and rendered into meaninglessness..oh, i love life..how so much it amazes me..emracing it into its full fury and vigor and beauty and wonder and dulllness..this are all equally exciting but blended with loneliness..but not all the way..a life without meaning....our capacity to feel pain or sadness gives us the insight that we in the end can attain the purest joy we always long for.i love you and i always love you and i really do! i cant deceive myself..the intensity of my devotion and sincerity give you the insight that i am after this purity of love..when you feel..i am so sorry if i am too much a busybody in your life..i never meant anything..i never meant....you could have teach me too how to love..i am not all knowing i am not perfect..i am nobody in this world...trying somehow to find my way home..i've wish my home is your heart..ohh, i am afraid and with utter sadness..you make it slowly adrift away from me....do i still have to cry and mourn my fate? my heart tells me not to leave you..not to let you go...oh, my dear ..dearest dear...my love have let you go to find yourself...my heart is infinitely vast and open..embracing your life..your whole reality..only in time..it takes a distance for a while..allowing you to find yourself..we cant just deceive our hearts trying to mend everything that is not supposed or necessary to be fixed....i am so sorry so much for making you sometimes if not always uneasy my deary dear..i am but nobody...i am but nothing in this world..who am i to move someone's life? just a wish in my life..as tears flow from by deep and lonely eyes..someday it could find its home..and ever longing...before there's the ultimate repose how i wish someday that i could have the sweetest sleep with the most endearing smile in my lips. i love you. With greatest love I feel.i love you always..i love you so much and i love you..oh, if you could only see my heart and my life now...too much love cant kill..no matter how much is that...true love always finds itself into the messy life of absurdity and wandering..my life is dynamic....if you know more about life..my heart always tell me to fix where i've gone wrong and to follow your life wherever it goes.

nonsense to do nothing

sitting alone in a dark corner waiting for nothing to attack my volatile self. alas, who says nothing-ness makes nonsense? the more i gather my self, the more i want to form something to express myself, the very content IN myself, i just feel nothingess creeps deviously and erodes me with all my joy on something "should-have-been seen" wondrously. i have just realize that seeking the depths of something, nothingness invades my mind and stole my cheerfulness and excitment and gives me, rather, the "devil's gift" of madness. for instance, there is something i feel deep in me, then i begin to leap with joy of what i've found, there is this almost indescribable ecstatic feeling in me...my thoughts begin to work, trying to give reason of what is happening deep in me..trying to "categorize " what's really happening now...it widens, it expands, it "dribbles" and "kicks" in my mind with such beaming joy. soon, i am immersed into the sea of intensification and glorification of what i would rather meant with my feeling within and of course, i am LOST. dizziness rattles the forming picture being formed by my thoughts, and when it collapses, madness comes to the fore. the more i tried to work it out, the more my thoughts loses its power, the more i intensify my feeling within me..the more i want to feel its sweetest sweetness, the more i lost the "thoughts" i want to picture of what i feel. why? is this a paradox? that the most beautiful is inexpressible, or that we're just trying to make nothing into something? that nothing-ness itself..after all is the ground of both beauty and madness...

from wondering to wandering...?

i wonder why i wonder if i think of this life. does my wondering lead to wandering? let's see...life is beautiful..maybe..coz of our aesthetic nature? or life can be a damn banality? which is which? let's see..from wondering to wandering or wandering to wondering? i think i might have convulsion this moment thinking if my contextual concepts really matters for good consideration or a pile of rubbish verbiage...one thing makes me to glee this moment...the journey is too tempting not to preempt...